Are we nearly there yet?

Yes we are!  Had my penultimate fill this morning, another 50mls administered by a nervous, nice wee registrar.  That means another 50mls in 2 weeks and THAT'S IT.  Feeling good so far, no pain and not too tight.  Will keep taking the painkillers though, don't want to tempt fate.  So.  Brill.  Hopefully will get to know what the plan is at next appointment as to when implants will be put in.  Nice lady surgeon admired my cleavage this morning.  Funny how little things can make you feel happy.

Another little thing that would normally not make me happy but did this morning was this.  Dear readers if you've been following this sporadic, random and rambling blog you will know that following my diagnosis I was put on toxic phlegm and Zolodex (nasty, nasty side effects making you menopausal, fat and wickedly moody among other things)and have recently come off both of them.  Not under medical supervision I hasten to add, just because I was f**ed off and craving a quality of life and, of course, there was the fertility stuff.  At my last onc appointment I was told I might have gone through the menopause and was a tad upset at the thought.  But, dear readers, this morning I started a period!  Oh my.  I went for a wee and there it was, looking up at me, long time no see.  So, although this doesn't mean a whole lot in the scheme of things (it's not automatically going to follow that I fall pregnant at the first attempt obv) it does mean that it's unlikely that I'm menopausal, which is just ace.  Psychologically it's mighty gratifying.  Whoop.


This coming monday is my wedding anniversary.  I've been married to the fabulous Mr F for a year now <3.  How time flies!  We will be celebrating in style by going to Northcote Manor like we're people with money (we aren't, but that's what credit cards are for.)


Fitter happier news - I lost a lb!  A whole lb!  And I was bloated and pre-menstrual.  I've been going mad on the Wii and only eating goodness with a little treat here and there to stop me going completely mental.  I do feel better for it.  Now two weeks to go and I'll be giving up le fags.  I'm dreading that.  Bugger.


Love to y'all!

The Drugs Do Work (But I'm Not Taking Them)

Several weeks free of toxic phlegm and zolodex (can't think of a comedy name for it no matter how hard I try) and I have to admit I'm feeling a return to something resembling a quality of life.  Still having hot flushes (am I menopausal? Or is it pre-menstrual?), still overweight (ideal weight 9 stone, current weight 11 stone - erk) but starting to feel a creeping sense of motivation to start thinking about getting fitter and healthier.  Notice I say 'start thinking about', not sure when I'll actually do something about it but it's a start.  My diet is apalling, I smoke too much and do no exercise whatsoever.  I'm always tired and my skin and hair look rubbish.  So, I know that if I make the effort the rewards will be worth it.  

On my to do list for a fitter happier K:- 

• Give up the melvins.  Easier said than done but I've done it before.  Doesn't help that Mr F's a smoker but hey ho.  Need to buy nicotine replacement thingies and a stress ball or some worry beads or some such.  And make a date for giving up.  Thought this would be good when I have my last fill and before I have the bionic boobs.  Put date in diary. 
• Massive diet overhaul.  Minimise the takeaways (sigh) and maximise the salads.  Give up bread, sugar and other stuff that tastes lovely but makes me feel crap.  Been looking at the Flat Tummy Club diet and exercise site here after I saw it in the Daily Mail (not mine, somebody elses.  Don't want you thinking I'm a Mail reader.  That would be terrible.) Good to have a plan to work with, otherwise I convince myself that naughty food is allowed.  Good shopping habits too - if I don't buy it I can't eat it.  See? 
• Exercise excercise excercise.  I have a dog.  I have weights.  I have Wii Fit.  There are no excuses. 
• When all this is accomplished or I'm at least in the zone then I can treat myself to some new garms.  I have nothing to wear.  Srsly.  Nothing fits (except Mr F's jeans) and he's getting fed up with me nicking his clothes.  What better motivation than a shopathon eh girls?  Shopping!  

So, that's the plan.  I love a plan.  And I'm 40 this October so I want to look fab and forty not flabby, f***ed and forty.  And if I'm not menopausal (as in reallytruly not drug induced) then Plan Fab will mean it's easier to conceive.  Inshallah.


Big booby love to ya'll.  Wish me luck.  I'm off for a fag...:)