Just the agony then. Went for my second "pumping up" yesterday. Drove myself as Mr F was working and I was planning to go into work myself afterwards. Lovely lady surgeon injected 50mls to start and it felt tight again but otherwise ok. Then about half way through the second 50mls I couldn't stand it - she injected the lot and had to remove some straightaway. After she'd removed 10mls it felt like the pressure was off so I said it felt better, got dressed and off I went. Not sure how I got myself home again the pain was that bad. I had to manoeuvre the car round a bunch of senior citizen ramblers on the car park which nearly finished me off. Thought if I got home and had some codeine and went to bed then the pain would ease off, but it just got worse. Lordy, I've never had so much pain in my LIFE! Stabbing pains, round the tissue expander, under the armpit, down the arm, in my shoulder blade. Nausea inducing muscle spasms. The tissue expander is rock hard. Strong painkillers didn't even touch the pain to take the edge off, and I was horribly sick. Mr F offered to leave work early and take me back in to have some saline removed but I couldn't stand the thought of getting back into the car for 20 minutes of the roads being pothole hell. F**k me but I'm seriously considering asking to have the damn thing out and going right breastless for all eternity. THAT's how much pain I was in. Tell you how bad it was, if someone had given me a gun I'd have shot myself.
Today, feels ever so slightly better. Have done a bit of a web search and think some of the pain is nerve related...it was weird feeling pain in an area that's been numb since the Mx and ANC. Today I have to go for my Zolodex injection so I'm going to have to get dressed and get my arse in gear. Am hoping that the pain of the injection will take my mind of the pain of the red hot brick under my chest wall. If anyone's reading this contemplating tissue expander based reconstruction, don't let me put you off :0). Tee hee.
Still off the Tamoxifen. Still having hot sweats etc. but figure that's the Zolodex. Still feel like a bag of s**te.
Man, I've had enough.
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