Thursday, 8 September 2011

Happy Boob-day

I just wanted to share that I have an op date for the implants.  Woo!  21st October.  4 days after I turn 40.  So hurrah for that.  Of course, it's only a provisional date.  I keep being reminded that there are new BC diagnoses all the time so it might get cancelled.  I used to be one of those, but now I'm an old hand so often get shoved to the back of the queue.  I understand, I really do.  But I just want all this to be over.  O.V.E.R.  Then we can all get on with our lives.  BC holds you hostage and I needs to break free, sisters (and brothers.)

In other news, I got my period today so was terribly excited about using my new Clear Blue Fertility Monitor.  I got up, turned it on, pressed the 'm' button, that was it.  6 days to go till I have to start peeing on sticks.  Roll on that day.  

If anyone else tells me they're pregnant I may scream.  Quietly of course, I don't wish to be rude.  A friend of ours told us their fab news this pleased for them but WHEN WILL IT BE OUR TURN???  WHEN???!!

It's just a quick update today as I'm drinking wine (what was that about giving up alcohol to increase fertility then?) and lolling about on Twitter so will write more later.

Bye for now!


Saturday, 20 August 2011

Peanuts, prawns and alien life forms

I have to admit that I've always been a bit ignorant about fertility and cycles and ovulation and stuff.  Aside from the medical shit (I work in Obs and Gynae field and know all the scientific side, sort of) I'm not the sort of lady who knows when she's ovulating or has insider knowledge on cervical mucus and basal body temperature tracking so I thought I'd better gen up and get down with it.

So after rootling through all the crap on the interweb (lots of sites saying "If you buy this book/take these pills/send us all your money we'll get you preggers") I found a superflusion of information on fertility/infertility and WAYS TO GET PREGNANT FAST!  Thought I'd put it all together in a blog post to avoid me having to rootle again.  Here's my version of a ten point plan to get pregnant.

1.  The first thing that caught my eye, being lazy and a gadget loving gal, was this The Clearblue Fertility Monitor.  Was this the gadget that Boots said they'd do a money back promise if you used it and didn't conceive?  Anyway, it looks a bit complicated but has some good reviews and basically monitors your hormone levels which can only be a good thing.  It's a tad expensive (£104 at Boots but £60something squids at Amazon uk) but I sort of like the idea of using something scientific and boastful.  Looks like a lot of women who've been trying to conceive have done so using this.  Well, that and their other halves contribution obvs.  
Conversely, you can also track your BBT and cervical mucus (this is where it gets a bit gross.)  Your BBT or Basal Body Temperature rises at ovulation, so you can get an idea of when you're ovulating, as it's not always day 14...depends on your cycle and shit.  Cervical mucus changes throughout your cycle (er, dry, sticky rice or egg whites...I'll never look at Thai and raw egg whites in the same way again) and if you really want to see piccers of the different cervical mucii? mucuses? mucususees? in all their dry sticky rice egg whites glory you can see that here
Right.  So knowing your cycle and your bodily secretions is a GOOD THING.

2.  Have lots of sex.  Obvs.  At least 3 times a week to cover all bases.  And missionary position is allegedly the best way to go.  Hurrah for that.  It's a lazy gal's favourite.

3.  Have sex lots a few days before you ovulate.  Then the little spermies are hanging around chilling when the egg comes down the chute.  Otherwise if you wait till you're ovulating you have a narrower window of opportunity.  And we all love a good big window of opportunity don't we?

4.  Give up smoking.  Oh.  Well, that goes without saying and also drinking alcohol and caffeine.  Blimey.  That's 50% of my diet.

5.  Eat lots of yams.  Yes, yams!  Who'd have thought?  
Yams are a food that seems to promote and stimulate ovulation, so it’s worth a try to eat lots of yams if you want to know how to get pregnant fast with twins. This study was confirmed by the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs.
I know it says twins but it was the promotion and stimulation of ovulation that caught my eye.

6.  Eat dairy.  Again this is associated with the twin thing but as a massive cheese and milk lover this is grand news.  Some guy did some kind of study with women who ate 5 portions a day of dairy.  That's good enough for me.

7.  Don't think about getting pregnant.  Good advice since worrying about stuff leads to stress and stress leads to all kinds of problems, yes?  

8.  Take your folic acid.  Before you try to conceive.  'Tis full of goodness and not only helps with conception but also less likelihood of babe developing in a less than healthy manner.  I could go on about neural tube defects and whatnot but I won't.

9.  Be healthy.  At your ideal weight or a bit higher.  Eat well.  Give up all the lovelies mentioned in point 4.  Despair.  Eat lots of dairy.  Feel a bit better again.

10. I like this one.  Don't get up immediately after sex.  Have a little rest and tilt up your pelvis (the old put a cushion under your bum is a goodie, apparently.  This always reminds me of Peep Show :).)  Don't give the spermies chance to fall out.

11.  HAVE LOTS OF SEX.  Did I mention that?  Bonus point.

If you do all this, according to the mighty interwebs, you'll get caught.  Wicked.

Not that I'm planning on getting preggers just yet but it's good to have a plan eh?  A friend of mine is 12 weeks after trying for AGES and I'm so pleased for her.  I must ask her if she's partial to yams.  

Tra a bit! 

Sunday, 14 August 2011

Age ain't nothin' but a number...

Forgot to share this with y'all!  Here's my 40th birthday bash invites, designed by my very own self.  I'm rather proud.


Thrills, pills and bellyaches

So, I didn't get to see the surgeon on the 9th, my appointment was moved to the 23rd.  Little bit irritating, especially as I have to sort cover for work then have to rearrange it all, which is a ball-ache, but I understand that (sadly) there are women AND men being diagnosed all the time and new patients should come still impatient to get the ball rolling though.  The "boob" is fine and dandy, no pain and only slight discomfort if I overdo things.  Looking forward to having an op date though and planning what size I'm going to be (vacuous I know)...I feel like once the op's done that's the close of another chapter in the cancer book and I can get on with life as we know it.  Am hoping that it's sooner rather than later.  Hit the big 4-0 in October and would be a real "life begins..." if I was post op by then.  Here's hoping!

Have been a bit worried of late as I've been so tired and under the weather and have lost some weight - despite going back to my bad diet and serious lack of exercise (I'm so crap.)  I know that's probably contributing but I've been so exhausted I've been falling asleep almost as soon as I get home from work and napping in the afternoon at weekends.  Not having any pain anywhere but I think because of the cancer cloud there's always a little bit of my brain that's going to worry that it's back or there's been some kind of metastatic spread.  Had my breast clinic appointment (now 12 monthly - woo!) and everything seemed fine there...but...I don't know.  My symptoms seemed to fit in with early pregnancy but then I started a period yesterday so although I was relieved as it's not perfect timing (want to get op out the way and financials sorted first) I was also a wee bit...disappointed?  Yes, disappointed.  I'm now part-time, 30 hours a week, so I shouldn't be feeling more tired that I was when I was full time and doing stupid shifts, should I?  I guess I'll see how things go and see my GP if I don't improve in another couple of weeks.  Sigh.  Speaking of periods.  It's great that they've come back so quickly and that means I'm still fertile but the raging PMT and the cramps and the heavy bleeding...WTF?!  I haven't missed that one bit.  I hate feeling so angry and irrational that even Mr F asking for bread and butter to go with the nice meal I'd just prepared sets me off on one.  That incident will forever be referred to as Breadgate. This weekend has just been a mash of headaches, tummy aches and wavering between bursting into tears over ridiculous things and punching someone.  Anyone will do.  Maybe it's just as well Mr F's gone to work :).  
So it's just me, evil kitty, gentle giant and our puppy lodger!  My brother's pup's been staying with us for a couple of weeks.  He's adorable but it's like having an overexcitable child in the house.  No wonder I'm so tired.

We've put the little house on the market but no interest so far.  Please someone buy our house!  I'm sick of the pub carpets and dingy wallpaper and can't wait to get cracking with doing the house up we're actually living in.  And obvs being able to pay our ever mounting debts off would be amazeballs.  Probably not the best time to ditch hours at work and now the tenants are moving out next week that's the rent gone...bloody hell.  Best get that recipe out for bugger all stew.

I've just worked out that if I give up smoking (what?  You thought I'd done that already? I will save about £180 a month.  That should be motivation enough...

And did you know that women in their late thirties and forties have a 1 in 5 chance of conceiving twins?  I need to stop interwebbing and do some washing.

Love to y'all!

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Fill her up!

Yesterday I had my last fill, another 50mls of saline.  Now I'm up to 400mls and the booby is looking good.  Bloody painful though.  Nowhere near as bad as fills 2 and 3 but it is sore and uncomfortable enough to warrant painkillers.  After my appointment yesterday I went into work until late monged out on co-codamol so I was no use to anyone but at least it cuts down on the taking my own annual leave for unpleasantries farce.  Got home and Mr F was excited about the arrival of Wii Sports Resort but my heart (and my poor pec) wasn't in it.  Managed a couple of games of archery and golf frisbee to show willing then had to retire gracefully.  

My next appointment is in 2 months time when surgery planning will take place and I should get a date for the op.  Mr F describes nice lady surgeon as "reassuringly dippy" - I have to remind her every time I go that I'm a)going bigger (alright!) and b) having the other boob augmented to match.  As long as she remembers when I'm on that operating table and GA'd to the hilt then we'll be fine.

Still trying to be healthy and have lost about 4lb altogether by cutting out lovely crap (I can only look at the Chinese Chippy wistfully as I drive by) and going mad on the Wii.  So far so good.  Not managed to quit the ciggies yet though.  Had planned to go cold turkey yesterday but that didn't quite work out.  Hey ho.  Need another date for my diary.  The motivation should be the fact that although I'm eating well and exercising I still feel like shite.  I've been so damn tired lately and feeling like I'm coming down with something.  The hot flushes have abated though so that's a bonus.  Have been struggling to work full time and do ridiculous hours so have negotiated going part time from 4th July.  Working 30 hours instead of 37.5, no lates, no weekends, no bank holidays.  Bliss!  We'll miss the poundage but needs must and at least we can look at selling the little house we're currently renting out.  Our tenants are interested in buying but not sure they can afford the asking price.  Be brilliant to be able to pay off the long list of climbing credit card debts and some of the mortgages (yes, that's mortgages plural) and to have a bit to spend on the house we're in now.  Feel like we should be living for the present and bloody well enjoying ourselves, not worrying about financials.

Had our first anniversary last week and went to Northcote Manor - it was fabulous.  Went for the Gourmet Lunch with wine (a half bottle with every course and there were 6 courses, we were mash up and had to go to bed when we got home - ahem ;-)) which you can look at with envy here if you so wish.  It's not the exact one we had but you get the idea.  The credit card groaned and complained but it's only once a year so bollocks to it.

This afternoon there is more pain.  My car's being MOTd and they always find something that needs fixing.  Last time it was my brakes at £600.  Then the dentist where I'm having casts and whatnot to have a crown replaced.  That'll be another £400+.  Jesus.  The old one fell out when I was eating an apple.  

Hope you're all well booby followers!  I'll be back to moan, whinge, procrastinate and report on the boob soon no doubt but for now I feel like I've got a couple of months grace.

Tra for now!

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Are we nearly there yet?

Yes we are!  Had my penultimate fill this morning, another 50mls administered by a nervous, nice wee registrar.  That means another 50mls in 2 weeks and THAT'S IT.  Feeling good so far, no pain and not too tight.  Will keep taking the painkillers though, don't want to tempt fate.  So.  Brill.  Hopefully will get to know what the plan is at next appointment as to when implants will be put in.  Nice lady surgeon admired my cleavage this morning.  Funny how little things can make you feel happy.

Another little thing that would normally not make me happy but did this morning was this.  Dear readers if you've been following this sporadic, random and rambling blog you will know that following my diagnosis I was put on toxic phlegm and Zolodex (nasty, nasty side effects making you menopausal, fat and wickedly moody among other things)and have recently come off both of them.  Not under medical supervision I hasten to add, just because I was f**ed off and craving a quality of life and, of course, there was the fertility stuff.  At my last onc appointment I was told I might have gone through the menopause and was a tad upset at the thought.  But, dear readers, this morning I started a period!  Oh my.  I went for a wee and there it was, looking up at me, long time no see.  So, although this doesn't mean a whole lot in the scheme of things (it's not automatically going to follow that I fall pregnant at the first attempt obv) it does mean that it's unlikely that I'm menopausal, which is just ace.  Psychologically it's mighty gratifying.  Whoop.

This coming monday is my wedding anniversary.  I've been married to the fabulous Mr F for a year now <3.  How time flies!  We will be celebrating in style by going to Northcote Manor like we're people with money (we aren't, but that's what credit cards are for.)

Fitter happier news - I lost a lb!  A whole lb!  And I was bloated and pre-menstrual.  I've been going mad on the Wii and only eating goodness with a little treat here and there to stop me going completely mental.  I do feel better for it.  Now two weeks to go and I'll be giving up le fags.  I'm dreading that.  Bugger.

Love to y'all!

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

The Drugs Do Work (But I'm Not Taking Them)

Several weeks free of toxic phlegm and zolodex (can't think of a comedy name for it no matter how hard I try) and I have to admit I'm feeling a return to something resembling a quality of life.  Still having hot flushes (am I menopausal? Or is it pre-menstrual?), still overweight (ideal weight 9 stone, current weight 11 stone - erk) but starting to feel a creeping sense of motivation to start thinking about getting fitter and healthier.  Notice I say 'start thinking about', not sure when I'll actually do something about it but it's a start.  My diet is apalling, I smoke too much and do no exercise whatsoever.  I'm always tired and my skin and hair look rubbish.  So, I know that if I make the effort the rewards will be worth it.  

On my to do list for a fitter happier K:- 
  • Give up the melvins.  Easier said than done but I've done it before.  Doesn't help that Mr F's a smoker but hey ho.  Need to buy nicotine replacement thingies and a stress ball or some worry beads or some such.  And make a date for giving up.  Thought this would be good when I have my last fill and before I have the bionic boobs.  Put date in diary. 
  • Massive diet overhaul.  Minimise the takeaways (sigh) and maximise the salads.  Give up bread, sugar and other stuff that tastes lovely but makes me feel crap.  Been looking at the Flat Tummy Club diet and exercise site here after I saw it in the Daily Mail (not mine, somebody elses.  Don't want you thinking I'm a Mail reader.  That would be terrible.) Good to have a plan to work with, otherwise I convince myself that naughty food is allowed.  Good shopping habits too - if I don't buy it I can't eat it.  See? 
  • Exercise excercise excercise.  I have a dog.  I have weights.  I have Wii Fit.  There are no excuses. 
  • When all this is accomplished or I'm at least in the zone then I can treat myself to some new garms.  I have nothing to wear.  Srsly.  Nothing fits (except Mr F's jeans) and he's getting fed up with me nicking his clothes.  What better motivation than a shopathon eh girls?  Shopping!  
So, that's the plan.  I love a plan.  And I'm 40 this October so I want to look fab and forty not flabby, f***ed and forty.  And if I'm not menopausal (as in reallytruly not drug induced) then Plan Fab will mean it's easier to conceive.  Inshallah.

Big booby love to ya'll.  Wish me luck.  I'm off for a fag...:)