Peanuts, prawns and alien life forms

I have to admit that I've always been a bit ignorant about fertility and cycles and ovulation and stuff.  Aside from the medical shit (I work in Obs and Gynae field and know all the scientific side, sort of) I'm not the sort of lady who knows when she's ovulating or has insider knowledge on cervical mucus and basal body temperature tracking so I thought I'd better gen up and get down with it.

So after rootling through all the crap on the interweb (lots of sites saying "If you buy this book/take these pills/send us all your money we'll get you preggers") I found a superflusion of information on fertility/infertility and WAYS TO GET PREGNANT FAST!  Thought I'd put it all together in a blog post to avoid me having to rootle again.  Here's my version of a ten point plan to get pregnant.

1.  The first thing that caught my eye, being lazy and a gadget loving gal, was this The Clearblue Fertility Monitor.  Was this the gadget that Boots said they'd do a money back promise if you used it and didn't conceive?  Anyway, it looks a bit complicated but has some good reviews and basically monitors your hormone levels which can only be a good thing.  It's a tad expensive (£104 at Boots but £60something squids at Amazon uk) but I sort of like the idea of using something scientific and boastful.  Looks like a lot of women who've been trying to conceive have done so using this.  Well, that and their other halves contribution obvs.  
Conversely, you can also track your BBT and cervical mucus (this is where it gets a bit gross.)  Your BBT or Basal Body Temperature rises at ovulation, so you can get an idea of when you're ovulating, as it's not always day 14...depends on your cycle and shit.  Cervical mucus changes throughout your cycle (er, dry, sticky rice or egg whites...I'll never look at Thai and raw egg whites in the same way again) and if you really want to see piccers of the different cervical mucii? mucuses? mucususees? in all their dry sticky rice egg whites glory you can see that here
Right.  So knowing your cycle and your bodily secretions is a GOOD THING.

2.  Have lots of sex.  Obvs.  At least 3 times a week to cover all bases.  And missionary position is allegedly the best way to go.  Hurrah for that.  It's a lazy gal's favourite.

3.  Have sex lots a few days before you ovulate.  Then the little spermies are hanging around chilling when the egg comes down the chute.  Otherwise if you wait till you're ovulating you have a narrower window of opportunity.  And we all love a good big window of opportunity don't we?

4.  Give up smoking.  Oh.  Well, that goes without saying and also drinking alcohol and caffeine.  Blimey.  That's 50% of my diet.

5.  Eat lots of yams.  Yes, yams!  Who'd have thought?  
Yams are a food that seems to promote and stimulate ovulation, so it’s worth a try to eat lots of yams if you want to know how to get pregnant fast with twins. This study was confirmed by the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs.
I know it says twins but it was the promotion and stimulation of ovulation that caught my eye.

6.  Eat dairy.  Again this is associated with the twin thing but as a massive cheese and milk lover this is grand news.  Some guy did some kind of study with women who ate 5 portions a day of dairy.  That's good enough for me.

7.  Don't think about getting pregnant.  Good advice since worrying about stuff leads to stress and stress leads to all kinds of problems, yes?  

8.  Take your folic acid.  Before you try to conceive.  'Tis full of goodness and not only helps with conception but also less likelihood of babe developing in a less than healthy manner.  I could go on about neural tube defects and whatnot but I won't.

9.  Be healthy.  At your ideal weight or a bit higher.  Eat well.  Give up all the lovelies mentioned in point 4.  Despair.  Eat lots of dairy.  Feel a bit better again.

10. I like this one.  Don't get up immediately after sex.  Have a little rest and tilt up your pelvis (the old put a cushion under your bum is a goodie, apparently.  This always reminds me of Peep Show :).)  Don't give the spermies chance to fall out.

11.  HAVE LOTS OF SEX.  Did I mention that?  Bonus point.

If you do all this, according to the mighty interwebs, you'll get caught.  Wicked.

Not that I'm planning on getting preggers just yet but it's good to have a plan eh?  A friend of mine is 12 weeks after trying for AGES and I'm so pleased for her.  I must ask her if she's partial to yams.  

Tra a bit!