So, I didn't get to see the surgeon on the 9th, my appointment was moved to the 23rd. Little bit irritating, especially as I have to sort cover for work then have to rearrange it all, which is a ball-ache, but I understand that (sadly) there are women AND men being diagnosed all the time and new patients should come first...am still impatient to get the ball rolling though. The "boob" is fine and dandy, no pain and only slight discomfort if I overdo things. Looking forward to having an op date though and planning what size I'm going to be (vacuous I know)...I feel like once the op's done that's the close of another chapter in the cancer book and I can get on with life as we know it. Am hoping that it's sooner rather than later. Hit the big 4-0 in October and would be a real "life begins..." if I was post op by then. Here's hoping!
Have been a bit worried of late as I've been so tired and under the weather and have lost some weight - despite going back to my bad diet and serious lack of exercise (I'm so crap.) I know that's probably contributing but I've been so exhausted I've been falling asleep almost as soon as I get home from work and napping in the afternoon at weekends. Not having any pain anywhere but I think because of the cancer cloud there's always a little bit of my brain that's going to worry that it's back or there's been some kind of metastatic spread. Had my breast clinic appointment (now 12 monthly - woo!) and everything seemed fine there...but...I don't know. My symptoms seemed to fit in with early pregnancy but then I started a period yesterday so although I was relieved as it's not perfect timing (want to get op out the way and financials sorted first) I was also a wee bit...disappointed? Yes, disappointed. I'm now part-time, 30 hours a week, so I shouldn't be feeling more tired that I was when I was full time and doing stupid shifts, should I? I guess I'll see how things go and see my GP if I don't improve in another couple of weeks. Sigh. Speaking of periods. It's great that they've come back so quickly and that means I'm still fertile but the raging PMT and the cramps and the heavy bleeding...WTF?! I haven't missed that one bit. I hate feeling so angry and irrational that even Mr F asking for bread and butter to go with the nice meal I'd just prepared sets me off on one. That incident will forever be referred to as Breadgate. This weekend has just been a mash of headaches, tummy aches and wavering between bursting into tears over ridiculous things and punching someone. Anyone will do. Maybe it's just as well Mr F's gone to work :).
So it's just me, evil kitty, gentle giant and our puppy lodger! My brother's pup's been staying with us for a couple of weeks. He's adorable but it's like having an overexcitable child in the house. No wonder I'm so tired.
We've put the little house on the market but no interest so far. Please someone buy our house! I'm sick of the pub carpets and dingy wallpaper and can't wait to get cracking with doing the house up we're actually living in. And obvs being able to pay our ever mounting debts off would be amazeballs. Probably not the best time to ditch hours at work and now the tenants are moving out next week that's the rent gone...bloody hell. Best get that recipe out for bugger all stew.
I've just worked out that if I give up smoking (what? You thought I'd done that already? Er...no) I will save about £180 a month. That should be motivation enough...
And did you know that women in their late thirties and forties have a 1 in 5 chance of conceiving twins? I need to stop interwebbing and do some washing.
Love to y'all!
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