At long last the Tamoxifen side effects have started. I thought I might get away with it. Should have known better. Hot flushes, feeling queasy, loss of appetite, increase in appetite, insomnia, fatigue, joint aches...the list goes on. And the mood swings are fairly spectacular, up and down, up and down, sometimes within the space of minutes. My day has gone like this:- got up at 5am, did a pregnancy test since I'm starting Zolodex next week (it was negative, I felt relieved but strangely disappointed)...noticed cat hadn't come upstairs and went down to check on him - he's been a poorly kitty and had gastroenteritis - so I tiptoed downstairs to see if he was alright, he was fast a-bo on the sofa until I stubbed my toe on the ironing board. It was a spectacular leap I must say. I made a cup of tea and went back to bed with cat. Then got up and fed him. Then went back and slept and finally got up properly at midday and felt like all kinds of shite. I had a massive pile of ironing to do but made SMF a mix CD instead (and I have excelled myself, if I may say so, with the track listing and art work), then spent the rest of the afternoon crying for no reason...well, there is a reason - Mrs P has a lump on her neck and is still 3 weeks away from seeing the oncologist and more to starting her next chemo. So, I'm going to ring his secretary tomorrow and pull a few strings (get ME!) And...that's about it so far. Cat's been avoiding me all afternoon because he says I'm bringing him down. I can't be bothered to make tea so I've had two yoghurts and a couple of beers. Am now listening to mix CD and blubbing. Bollocks. Bollocks to cancer and everything.
Tomorrow I'm going to get my arse in gear and do stuff. Ring Oncologist's secretary, eat properly, see the parentals and take them a present (Hairy Bikers cookbook) then call into work for a bit (not to work, just to socialise) before having tea out with some lovely ladies.
Tomorrow will be better! It better bloody had be...
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